


Jubilee 2

by Nanocowie



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: But with some tweaking, F/M, Mostly as a result of, OP Argo, OP Kirito, SAO Progressive, Shipping Trash Kayaba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26589958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanocowie/pseuds/Nanocowie
Summary: Rewrote Jubilee, made it a bit less comedic because I dried up my funny a long time ago.During the Beta, Argo invited Kirito to complete a unique quest that required two players. Little did they know exactly what it may entail in the full release.
Relationships: Argo/Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Jubilee 2

**Author's Note:**

> Eyy waddup.
> 
> This is mostly a response to the Anime adaptation progressive is getting and the fact that I had the first chapter sitting in my polishing stack (giggity) for a while. It's getting harder to write a lot now that I have uni to contend with once more, but with any luck the Muse'll strike me like the masochist I am. Let me know which style you prefer and if it turns out that OG-buliee comes out on top I'll copy, paste, fix and reupload those chapters.

Kirito panted, the artificial exhaustion kicking in as he sprinted away from the centre of The Town of Beginnings. A death game? What the hell was Kayaba thinking!? He cracked his neck as he spotted the first pack of Wolf mobs spawn in response to his proximity and limbered up his Linear skill, if he hadn’t spent as much time helping a noob out then he’d probably have Upper by now, but spilled milk and all that. Would’ve also been nice to meet up with his partner, but she hadn’t contacted him yet and he knew she would when she was ready.

Four hours he spent taking out the mobs that spawned around him in droves, his expert managing of the spawn mechanics making levelling much quicker for him. In the interim between the closed beta and the official release, he’d been working away in the training facility he’d built in the NerveGear using Real Engine. Thank God for his no-life work ethic, he’d mastered movement in Full Dive in the month even if his grades suffered.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, he took a moment to look over at the setting sun and then down at his chipping starter sword. It wouldn’t last, these Level One items never did. Opening his inventory in one elegant sweep of the finger, he blinked in surprise at the expanded space. That wasn’t supposed to… Wait, ‘Shared Inventory’? Wasn’t that reserved for… “Heya Ki, fancy seeing you here.”

He looked up from the screen and grinned at the sight of his partner in the past few months as she pulled down her hood, revealing a girl about his age with a cocky smile and petite figure. “Glad to see you’re up and running Argo. Holding up okay?”

She sighed and shrugged, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “About as well as you’d expect, death games are cliché as hell. It’s like a plot out of a bad light novel. Anyways, you saw the shared inventory didn’t you? I’ve checked with my network, none of the other marriages have carried through from the beta, just us.”

Kirito blinked in surprise before going to his status page and confirming that yep, he was still married to Argo. Scrolling through it for a second he found that a few other effects had appeared and narrated them. “Three times combat EXP gain when partied, cannot rest unless spouse is present, can… Only eat cooking made by spouse? The hell…?”

Argo giggled, reciting her own. “Three times utility EXP gain when partied, cannot rest without spouse and I get a 20 bonus to my cooking and speechcraft. Feminism marches on, don’t it?”

He scoffed, closing the screen and taking a seat on the dewy grass as Argo followed suit, producing a blanket from the inventory and shuffling onto it. They looked out at the setting sun and Argo mumbled. “Predictions?”

Kirito hummed as he pondered that question. So many variables had to be considered, and it wasn’t as if it was familiar territory. The Betas had been taken from a pool of people with extensive MMO knowledge, and the player base was probably going to be a mixture of veterans and newbies. “We lose three thousand this floor, and by the time we’re out I reckon we’ll have about five thousand survivors. One thousand are going to be trailblazers, two thousand are the merchants and crafters, six thousand are adventurers and the rest are civillians. A few guilds pop up, they die or they co-ordinate the front lines.”

Argo nodded along before asking again. “And how long until we’re out?”

Kirito sighed, remembering that he probably wouldn’t be seeing Sugu any time soon. She’d been on his ass ever since SAO took his life by storm but… He knew she was just worried, any normie would be. “Four years tops if we get our asses in gear.”

Argo did her best to hide the small smile that formed on her face at that, but Kirito noticed and smirked. She was even more of a social reject than he was, she knew the advantages of a world like this. It didn’t hurt that she was also in one of the groups datamining SAO for it’s numbers in the leadup to the beta. “So what’s the plan Rat?”

She gave him a look of mock aghast before giggling. “Well, kick ass, chew bubblegum, enjoy ourselves. We’d be better off working together thanks to Sanctified Matrimony, sorry Ki, but I don’t think you get to do this playthrough solo.”

He groaned as she latched onto his arm with a devilish laugh. Without rest he’d get himself killed in a week tops, and it wasn’t like the combat EXP buff would be unwelcome. “So we gonna go and get that house? Didn’t you say we were the only ones to find it?”

Argo didn’t stop giggling as she took out a book from their inventory, handing it over to him. Kirito couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he opened it to reveal the deed for the house he was just mentioning. “I expected to be able to auction it off later when it became famous as the first unique player home, looks like it’ll be ours for a while longer though. I’ll get to work decorating it, I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve played enough Sims to kick ass at interior design.”

Tapping the page, Kirito watched as a portal opened in front of them. Standing up, he offered Argo a hand up which she took with a word of thanks before they walked through as if it was nothing. It closed behind them, and they were now stood in the barren living room of Elk’s Grotto, the first unique player house in Aincrad. Argo hummed before opening a catalogue on a pedestal at the front of the room, tapping away at it for a while before a bunch of furniture spawned in a flurry of arcane particle effects.

Kirito leaned against the wall as she worked, wincing as a particularly expensive wall art was added that depicted the outside view of Aincrad. She finished off by taking the catalogue and putting it against the wall with a sigh of contentment. “Welp, we’re set. Come on, let’s go check out the master bedroom.”

He raised his eyebrow and Argo turned back to him with a coy smile, touching her finger to her lip. “You heard me, we doing this or what?”

Kirito lost his cool in a spectacular display as Argo broke down into cackles, continuing up the stairs. He followed along, still pale from the teasing before opening the door to the bedroom to find Argo languidly stretching out on the massive bed. “God this is heaven, you joining me Ki?”

He raised his eyebrow, though blushing now. She’d always been more open about her desires then he was usually comfortable with. “W-Where am I sleeping?”

Argo hummed in genuine confusion before asking rhetorically. “The bed? Come on Ki, I’m not that ugly am I?”

He gaped at her stupidly for a second as Argo sighed and got up, walking over and gripping his arm lightly. She lead him back to the bed and pushed him down onto the covers as he weakly protested. She lay down next to him and shuffled over until her side was touching his, and the virtual warmth spread throughout them. The lights dimmed in response to the movement and Argo sighed in defeat as he shuffled around uncomfortably. “Ki, are you really uncomfortable with this? Cause I’ll tell you now, I’d rather sleep with you.”

His shuffling stopped abruptly and he could feel a pair of arms snake around his waist, pulling him close. She buried her face into his back as she whispered. “I-I’m sorry, but at least for tonight I… I could really do with some company.”

Kirito’s eyes widened as he felt the dampness of tears against his shirt and whispered in turn. “Argo… You’re not holding up okay at all, are you?”

She shook her head, the beginnings of sobs coming from her as she replied. “N-No… I… I’m fucking terrified, okay? Every time my mind wanders I see one of us dying, our brains cooking, our lives being cut short thanks to some goddamn Kobold or something. S-So, j-just in case night terrors also happen here…”

He shuffled once more, and Argo whimpered as he left her arms. The lights came back on, and Argo could see him getting into his standard sleepware provided by the game. He refused to meet her eyes but she could tell he wasn’t going to leave. “Just… For tonight, okay?”

Argo nodded tearily, using her menu to get into her own sleepware. The lights dimmed once more as Kirito got under the covers, allowing Argo to bury into his arms. He couldn’t see her face, but she was smiling contentedly. “Thanks Ki, you’re the best husband a girl could ask for.”

He hummed uncomfortably at the title and replied searchingly. “A-Are we really going t-to call each other like that?”

Argo giggled, replying in a mock-compromising tone. “Well, I suppose I could handle girlfriend and boyfriend. We are married after all. Just think, us, managing to find somebody in life.”

Kirito laughed along at the self-depricating humour. It was pretty common for Argo to make jokes at the expense of both of them, they were pretty similar IRL. Highschool nerds that had rocky relationships with their family and were otaku to the highest order. “Does it count if we’re the ones we find?”

Argo didn’t respond for a second before mumbling into his chest, a small heat blossoming in her own. “I reckon we could do worse than each other.”

Kirito looked at her in surprise before sighing contentedly, finally letting himself enjoy the embrace for what it was. “Yeah… Goodnight Argo.”

He felt her arms wrap around him again as she nuzzled into his chest. “G’night Ki.”

The next day came, and Argo woke up to find the bed empty as the sun streamed through the curtains. Sighing, she remembered where she was and what had happened the day previous. Opening her inventory, she looked at her friends list and opened the navigation tab where she saw the Kirito had already departed for the dungeon. Sighing with a smile, she looked at her HUD to see that they had been partied together and that their inventory was filling up steadily with monster drops.

She got up, stretched out her spine and sighed in delight at the stress seeping away before going downstairs and stepping out of the house. As she winced at the light, she heard a small ping and saw that Kirito had requested a voice call. Accepting, Argo said teasingly. “Morning Sweetie.”

He groaned good naturedly before asking, the sound of clashing steel in the background. “Morning yourself. I’ve found the dungeon, levelling my Carto as we speak. What’s your plan for today?”

Argo hummed, taking out her dagger and flipping it around lightly. “Probably get started on my detection and hiding. How’d you find it? This is a big as hell floor.”

The sound of a dying Kobold could be heard in the background as he replied. “The other Beta’s got together and did a circle sweep from the Town of Beginnings. Most left to level in other places, but myself and a few hundred are handling the boss room now… Looks like we’ve already lost a thousand, suicide or accidents.”

She winced. Of course it would be bad but… That many on the first night? That was insane. “Well… Chin up, eh? I’ll talk to you later Ki, still need lunch today?”

He scoffed, replying sarcastically. “Nah, I’ll just eat the pelts. If you could that’d be great, those restrictions are painful as hell even if the EXP is nice. I’m already at 12.”

Argo giggled and closed the voice call, making her way into the town after a small trek. The pathways had already been cleared by the adventurers, and as she went into the market area, she found herself surrounded by worried players chattering about. Even a few small kids ran past her as an older player chased after them, trying to get them to settle down. Straining her hearing, she grinned as the <<Detection>> Skill was activated and the EXP meter began to fill. She took a seat on a bench as it continued to tick up, the conversations around her beginning to become clearer while she kept her hood up.

Eventually however, someone came over to her with an uninterested gaze and a clipboard like menu in front of them. “Excuse me Ma’am, I am conducting a census of the current players, their occupation, willingness to fight, party affiliation and the like. Would you be willing to put your information down?”

Argo looked up at him in surprise before nodding, standing up to stretch her legs and yawn. “Yeah, fine. I’m not going to be on the front lines but my husband will be. Probably going to work on Jewelcraft and Alchemy when we have the Col.”

The gaunt looking man blinked in surprise before asking suspiciously. “Husband? Weddings don’t unlock until floor five, do they?”

Argo’s eyes glinted in the light as she replied carelessly. “If you know that, then you’re probably a Beta too. I was the one who took Santified Matrimony in the Beta, it carried over into here. Probably a bug, but it could be intentional.”

The clerk blinked in surprise before his expression softened, a small smile on his face. “Another Beta, thank God for that. The name’s Jalus, and if you took Matrimony then you’ll be Argo and the mister will be Kirito. I’m glad you two are here from a selfish point of view.”

Argo blinked and she grinned back, Jalus was another information broker, and a common figure in the datamining groups. “What’s the word in the Beta community?”

Jalus shook his head grimly, replying softly as if to avoid detection. “We’re divided into three groups or so. The info brokers and a few non-unique finders are busy compiling a starters guide and setting up tutoring sessions with parties to avoid more unnecessary deaths. The PvP players… They’ve gone silent, Laughing Coffin has unfriended everyone and a few of their members are claiming that they’re going into banditry. Stay vigilant, alright? I don’t want any Beta’s dead before this floor is done at least. Finally we’ve got the clearing party, I was told Kirito was already in the dungeon with the rest but didn’t believe it until I heard it from you.”

Argo hummed in worry. Laughing Coffin were griefers through and through, they killed recently revived players in the beta for the prestige and sold their items for pennies on the market. “And the public view of us?”

He shrugged, setting away the clipboard. “Divided again. Half are terrified of Laughing Coffin and are scared of betas in extension. The others are waiting to see how we conduct ourselves. Anyways, you’ll be needing your people again? They’re in the town square right now, they’re befriending and establishing guild roles. On the subject…”

Tapping away in his menu, Argo found a popup asking about a friend request and she accepted. “Alright, I’ll go and get my contacts back. Glad to see you’re kicking Jalus.”

The man waved her off with a smile. “Same to you Argo, good luck.”

The encounter was a mixture of good and bad news but at least she met someone. With Jalus around, she would be up to date on the world politics of Aincrad. Arriving in the town square, she saw a group of people huddled around each other by the wall and walked over, keeping her hood up. Approaching one of them, a knight with blue hair, she asked quietly. “I’m looking for the Beta’s gathering here? The name’s Argo.”

The knight had an ugly expression on his face before he grinned, clapping his hands together. “The Rat!? Glad to have you on board kid. Go and grab your friends again.”

Argo bounced around the groups, grabbing her contacts and sighing in relief when she found that she had managed to friend every crafting profession that was known in the Beta. The knight from before clapped his hands together to get the attention of the 40 or so players. “So! If we’re ready, we should figure out our starting point. The name’s Diavel if you don’t know me. Any suggestions for our first action as the non-clearing Betas?”

A blacksmith raised his hand, replying shortly. “We need to get the guide book out as soon as possible and get to supplying the fronties with high tier crafts. So… Split on that line?”

There was a murmer of agreement and Diavel nodded. “Alright, crafting party head to my right, guide writers to my left!”

They were split and Argo found herself on his left. Diavel turned to the crafting party first and began to issue instructions to start gathering in the plains in groups of four at least, to which they acquiesced and set out. Turning back to the guide writers, Diavel began again. “We’ll write a few pages each on a subject that we’re good at. I’ll handle monster combat, anyone else?”

Argo raised her hand and claimed her own section. “Trading and Crime.”

They all took a subject and Diavel smiled, giving them some suggestions before finishing. “Alright! Get those to me by tonight and if we’re good we can get them in stores by the next day. Dismissed!”

Argo sighed and stood up, looking into her inventory to see that Kirito had managed to fill up a few stacks of uncommon meats and pelts. Remembering their conversation that morning, she went to the market, grabbed the first set of cooking tools available and teleported back to their house using the deed. Stepping into the kitchen, she found herself humming happily as she got to work on grinding up the cooking skill.

SAO’s crafting worked on a luck basis, 20% chance to fail, 60% chance for normal and 20% chance for rare which got worse with the skill required to make the item and better with the player’s skill. At first she was failing most of the common cooking until she hit rank 50, at which she began to reliably churn out identical meals. Setting them in the inventory, she watched as two of the meals disappeared. Grinning, she made herself one and sat down at the table, scarfing down the first proper meal she had eaten in SAO. The game didn’t feature pain, so the hunger felt… Weird, like a nagging voice in your ear. It was the same with exhaustion, you just sort of began to slow down.

With some food in her, she began to write down an in depth guide about how the economy worked, what classed as a crime and how to identify criminals. While she knew most of the inflation rates and how item stock worked, she decided to opt out of telling the general public that. It’d be useful for her, and most wouldn’t care to read the equations.

It was just as she was finishing off her section, sighing as she closed the memo pad supplied in the menu when the door opened. She turned around to see Kirito walking in and jumped up to greet him. “Ki! How was the dungeon?”

He smiled mutely back, and Argo realized what’d happened. “O-Oh… Who?”

He took a seat and crossed his arms, and Argo put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him as he recounted. “It’s all different, everything. Kobolds… They surrounded them, crawled out of the wall. They’re not just using knives and clubs anymore either. Burning oil, nets, traps…”

Argo gaped in horror as Kirito continued after gulping. “We’ve lost 20 clearing beta’s. The defacto head Heathcliff has called a moratorium on dungeon exploration until they’re stronger. I’ll head back in and-“

She slapped him across her head and shouted back angrily. “What are you saying!? This isn’t a game anymore Ki, we don’t even know if the dungeon’s balanced anymore! You’re levelling detection with me tomorrow, that’s final!”

Kirito blinked in surprise at her admonishment before chuckling. “I’ll… Yeah, I’ll need skills to avoid danger as much as possible.”

Argo sighed and nodded, checking the time before pulling out a rabbit stew and putting it in front of him and grabbing one for herself. He looked up at her curiously before Argo glared pointedly at him. “Eat, we’ve got two hours left on those before they go bad.”

They ate in silence, and eventually they sun set, leaving them in the glow of candlelight before Argo asked. “You… Want your own bed?”

Kirito didn’t reply immediately, causing Argo’s eyebrow to raise. She leaned over to see his eyes had closed, and he was snoring lightly. She snorted in amusement before going over to pick him up, taking him up the stairs and into the master bed. Using his menu, she put him into his sleepware before turning to change herself.

Opening the shared inventory, she went over to her side before noticing that the scroll wheel was a lot smaller than usual. She took it and moved it to the bottom, skipping over slew of nothing before arriving at a letter without a title. Opening it without any regard for what it may be, she blinked at the lack of any content before gasping as words appeared on it.

_Hello Argo._

_I am Kayaba Akihiko. I am writing this to contact you, Kirito will be unable to view this message as he is unable to see it in the inventory. Any attempt to tell him of this will be met with immediate cessation of his body functions, and trust me, I will know._

_You two are a curious pair, one that I’m very interested in. I do not tell you this to rattle you, but to ask that you do what you can to keep him alive. Kirito is a familiar boy, I believe that he will flourish with your care._

_Holy Matrimony was my way of bringing you two together. Since that has been fulfilled, and the basic requirements of a relationship have been fulfilled, I see fit to throw you a bone._

_Continue to bond with him, and I will continue to aid you._

_I will now give you a chance to reply. This will be your only communication with me, so I encourage that you ask everything you wish to ask._

Argo gulped. In a world where she was talking to her cruel god, and he had taken an interest in, she was acutely aware of her mortality and that of her partner.

_Can you tell his family that I’ll take care of him?_

There was a long pause before the reply came through.

_And due to your familial situation, I would assume that you do not wish to speak to them. I agree, his Nervegear is going to forward a message to his Aunt’s phone._

Argo shuddered at the idea of Kayaba knowing about her parent’s… Tendencies.

_Thank you._

Kayaba replied with a single, ominous phrase before the letter deleted itself from the inventory.

_Till death do you part._

Argo was left in silence, sitting on the edge of the bed while pondering what had just happened. Kayaba had an interest in Kirito? And he was trying to help them in exchange for growing closer? She almost snorted, she’d call him shipping trash if he wasn’t keeping them in a death game. A small notification came up and she tapped on it idly, blinking in disbelief as she read the contents.

_Holy Matrimony has been upgraded to: Jubilee_

_Jubilee DLC has been unlocked._

_New Status’ are availible_

_New Household items are available for purchase_

_New Crafting options are available_

_New NPC interactions are available_

_Hidden Content has been added to the game world._

Argo gaped in shock at this. What was Kayaba playing at? Opening her compendium, she scrolled through the myriad pages of data before landing on the ‘Jubilee’ section. Opening it, Argo’s brow twitched as she read the single line available to her.

_Nice try – Kayaba_

Groaning in annoyance, Argo threw herself back on the bed and closed her eyes. The feeling of knowing that the GM was watching made her skin crawl, but she tried to push it out of her mind. She lay awake there, unable to sleep as she watched Kirito’s chest rise and fall. Maybe… This wouldn’t be so bad, being forced together with Cupid’s 9mm to their heads. Sidling over, she rested her head next to his and smiled at the warm feeling that blossomed in her chest as his head moved to better conform to hers.

Yep, not bad at all.


End file.
